Welcome and thank you for visiting the Kintsu Project. We hope you find something here that piques your interest, heals your heart, answers your questions, or points you in a helpful direction.
The Kintsu Project lives at the intersection of straight spouses, their LGBTQ+ spouses (or ex-spouses), and the children of marriages in which one parent comes out as LGBTQ+. Each of us has experienced tremendous loss and grief. Loss of our identities. Of who we thought we were. Of the marriage and family we thought we had. For some of us, we've also lost our professions, our church families, our friends. We were uniquely broken.
The seeds for the Kintsu Project were planted back in 2015, when I organized a panel discussion at the PFLAG National Convention called “Modern Family.” The panel was comprised of a divorced straight spouse; an adult child of a fifty-year mixed sexual orientation marriage, whose father had been arrested and his career ruined in the 1950s for being gay; a gender queer young adult whose parents divorced after their father came out; and a divorced gay man who was living openly and happily married to another man, but only at great cost to his family relationships.
This particular panel felt important and right, because each person had a deeply personal story to tell; a story which, at times, bumped directly up against that of the person seated next to them. If, as F. Scott Fitzgerald said, “the test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function,” then ours was a wise and intelligent panel, indeed.
Although I officially founded The Straightforward Project last year, it primarily addressed the needs of the straight spouse. That made sense, as I am a former straight spouse myself and so more knowledgeable of the needs of that community. However, I knew, when forming the initial board of directors, that I wanted it to be diverse, inclusive, and representative of as many stories as possible. The “I” became a wonderful “we,” and the Kintsu Project was born, an umbrella under which all stories and experiences around mixed sexual orientation marriages can find a home.
Please reach out with any questions or suggestions, or to share your story. I can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. We here at the Kintsu Project look forward to being of service.
All the best,
Kimberly Brooks Mazella
Founder, The Kintsu Project